If you’ve ever seen my cards then you know I’m a film and TV geek. If you haven’t, then you should. Go on, give your a eyeballs a treat and your belly a well earned laugh. If you have just seen my cards, why are you reading this drivel when you could be buying one for yourself, a friend or an enemy?
I love films, all kinds, all genres. Never wanted to be an actor but I love what they do. When I say never, well now that’s not strictly true. I’ve always wanted to push the envelope of casting. I would love to audition for the musical Annie for the role of Annie. I will just let that sink in for a minute or two …
I think it’s about time we see what a 53 year old, mixed-race, 6ft, fat, asthmatic, dyslexic tone deaf bearded musically challenged guy could bring to the role of the eleven year old ginger orphaned girl. I think we should go one stage further and have all the girls at the orphanage played by gruff hairy guys. Maybe even try the idea out in one of those prison drama workshops. I would love to see guys with nicknames like Shaun the Shiv and Hatchet Harry singing “It’s a hard knock lifer for us” or Razor Eddy singing “The sun will come out tomorrow… but not for that slag on B wing!” Trouble is, I’m pretty sure the D wing drama group would rather do Bugsy Malone.
There has been a black Annie on film and that is a huge step forward but not far enough for me at the moment. The live stage show is still mainly sexist, racist, fattist, beardist, ageist, and discriminates against asthmatics with a distinct lack of talent.
I think things should be shaken up from time to time purely because you never know what will come from it – if it’s nothing, then you can look back and say “well that was a shit idea”, but what if…
“What if …?” One of the greatest sentences known to man. If it wasn’t for what if we wouldn’t have heart transplant surgery or put a man on the moon, we would have no toasted sandwich makers or even labradoodles.
Every good and bad idea starts with what if? What if, sometimes means pushing the boundaries. The latest what if, one that is causing such uproar is … wait for it…what if Doctor Who was a woman?
Really? For fuck’s sake!!! You know what Dr Who is ? Any damn thing the writers want it to be!
Those sad sexist dick-cherishing misogynists think that the most ridiculous thing about this fictional TV two-hearted alien, police-box time travelling, regenerating, sci-fi characters is that he’s now… a woman…really?! Yep, apparently that’s the ridiculous thing!
You’re lucky I’m not in charge! I’d have painted the inside of the TARDIS pink and covered it in glitter, while the outside would resemble a pink fluffy pencil case and the Doctor would be a transexual red jelly that could only communicate through a series of wobbles.
I’ve heard people say that the Doctor is a great role model for their sons. What, even the part when he admits to mass genocide?! Okay he’s a good guy – but there are and have been so many good guys in fiction on screens big and small.
What about your daughters? Just imagine how they would feel if a woman was saving the world? If they can believe a woman can do everything the time travelling alien guy can do. Except of course, for writing their name in the snow while pissing. And I’m guessing if that is part of the plot, there’s always CGI.
But by now, you should know it’s not real anyway, it’s just make believe. You accept the strange and amazing storylines and the sometimes not-so-special effects, but if the Doctor dares to represent the other 50% of the world’s population you stamp your feet?
If that’s the case, you’re the ridiculous one. So grow up and stop making us look bad guys, it’s just a TV show. They need change or they die and unlike the Doctor when they do die, they can never come back.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this post, please click here immediately and purchase as many cards and posters as your bank balance will allow. It won’t help you in any way with your concerns and issues, but it will make you popular with your friends and family round about the time of their birthdays.