I found this on the Internet while looking for images for a new range of Phil in the box cards (available at all good etsy stores).
It’s a depiction of the Seven Deadly Sins, by Hieronymus Bosh who later went on to invent the drill but due to his death and a long drawn out court case against his once good friends, Brian Black & Bob Decker, he never saw it going into production.
I find it very interesting that he should depict the seven deadly sins or the cardinal sins in this way. If it has escaped your attention, it’s round with 4 smaller just as round pictures in each corner. The big circular picture in the middle is split in to seven pieces.
Hieronymus Bosh painted a religious pizza with four dips!!! Now is he saying that pizza is sinful? Or can redemption be found in a meat-feast?
Well I think he’s saying both…you can eat a pizza righteously or sinfully. This picture is just a guide to help you eat your pizza, like Jesus would and did.
The last supper was a boozy boys night out, with everybody having wine and pizza except Judas who had the lasagna (the dick). And this is where Jesus created the sacrament. A pissed up Jesus, after telling everybody he loved them (except Judas because he was a dick) said “The bread of this pizza is my body; the cheese is my skin; the tomato base and pepperoni is all my guts and shit.”
The Catholic Church realised that ordering in loads of pepperoni pizzas every Sunday would work out expensive, so they scaled it back over the years, first losing the pepperoni then the cheese and so on, until now I think it’s a Jacobs cream cracker and a very weak Vimto. I think the Church of England is a sip of tea and a Fox’s crunch cream.
Hieronymus Bosh points out the way we shouldn’t eat pizza in the same breath as telling us that pizza is holy and the most righteous of all the bread based foods.
But like all religious rules they are hard to live by. Indeed, the first sin is the most obvious and yet the hardest to live by:
•1 Gluttony – meaning don’t eat too much. (Yeah right…didn’t you see it’s pizza?!)
This one is sound advice but still hard to live by:
•2 Lust (lust, fornication) – meaning don’t rub your naked body with hot pizza especially your crotch. (Mmmmm sacrilicious)
Come on we all like a meal deal :
•3 Greed (avarice/greed) – meaning don’t just have pizza if you have a 2-for-1 deal or some money off vouchers. (Pizza is not just for weekends and cheap weekday deals)
Another tricky one:
•4 Pride (pride, hubris) – meaning you should never feel pride for knowing what you’re ordering before even looking at the menu.
This one is inevitable:
•5 Envy – meaning don’t be jealous of other people’s pizza choices. (Even though sometimes it looks so much better than the one you picked)
This shouldn’t happen, but it does:
•6 Wrath (wrath, anger) – meaning never fight over the last slice even if you feel you have a legitimate claim over it!!! (Just lick the slice, they won’t want it then).
This last one has more than one interpretation:
•7 Sloth – meaning don’t just fall asleep after eating your pizza, or don’t just order one alone online, go and sit with others…because as the Bible says “if two or three gather in my name there am with them, the holy trinity of the bread, the tomato and the cheese.”
Hieronymus Bosh is long dead and I’m sure out of the three people that read this, two of you will not have heard of him. But his art work lives on in every slice and topping. So I for one raise my eyes skywards and thank cheeses for him.