Starter for Ten…

All the best stories start with amazing opening lines that set the mood and lend weight and gravitas to the words yet to come.


Call me Ishmael. —Herman Melville, Moby-Dick


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. —Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities


It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. —George Orwell, 1984


See John . See John run . Run John run – Rona Munro, Janet and John


To be honest I’ve only read one of those books … and and I’m not sure I finished it as it was a bit heavy going but I will give it another go one day just to see where John is running to and why!


Andy (SAS) McNabb had a reading age of 11 when he joined the army and said Janet and John changed his life, and maybe it influenced his writing style.


See terrorists. See terrorist gun. Gun terrorist gun!!! – Andy McNabb, Bravo Two Zero.


People that make something of their lives, despite experiencing poor education are to be admired and praised, but when they have a whole career based solely on what they don’t know,  there’s something wrong.


Joey Essex or Jade Goody 1.1,  as I think he should be known – more thick less racism – (and is Essex his real name or just a tool to help him remember where he lives?) is a fine example.


He and we revel in his stupidity. Famous for being thick or pretending to be thick, it really doesn’t matter which. Surely a role model should be famous for at least doing something even if it’s just a Simon Cowell (don’t say his name three times or like Satan he will appear) boy band…not for being unable to tell the time on a analogue clock ! (Honestly he can’t) and Joey, that’s the one with the stick things that go round, mate.





Is that what we want kids to aim for? Come on, it’s time we did better. The big hand is pointing at the twelve and the little hand is pointing at the six,  that’s half past bollocks Joey.


Don’t get me wrong he seems like a nice lad (here comes the “some of my best friends are thick” speech) and the fact he’s not smart isn’t the issue, nor is the fact he’s successful. It’s not even because he’s on television in the first place,  it’s the fact he’s on programmes that are part of our mainstream entertainment.


When people of average intelligence watch him, we see a thick guy acting thick (or pretending to)  –  we laugh and point and think smugly “I’m smarter than you” But if you’re as smart as he is, (you’re probably around seven or eight years old), we then have a man on TV being very successful and well liked, with no discernible talent other than having no discernible talent.





I don’t mind seeing him on TV but it should be on programmes called “UK education – not as good as it reems” or “Just call me reemedial”


Let’s show our kids that if monkeys were better educated. they may get jobs as organ grinders  and no Joey, that’s not a reference to a bad blow job!!




These and many more awesome, intelligent cards (we only sell to smart folk) can be found in our Etsy store. Do stop by and buy some.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s