It’s very strange how some comparisons put things sharply into perspective. I hated President Bush (1 & 2, Son of Bush), both of ’em, but mainly 2 – he was a warmongering idiot of a man and not as bright as his namesake (no, not the humble plant but the hairy vagina).
But today, Thursday 10th of November 2016 I look back at theeir times with great fondness …like a horrible incident that you think you will never be able to deal with or talk about yet somehow it has now become one of your most amusing anecdotes that you tell people at parties. ” …. to cut a long story short they managed, after some time and considerable effort to successfully remove it from my arse.”
We in the West pick our leaders and politicians on what they say and the type of people we think they are, and pray they keep their word, then bitch about them when they don’t. But we should never fear what they are capable of.
On Tuesday 8th of November 2016 my main fear was horses. “But why not lions and tigers?” I hear you mutter under your breath sarcastically. Well, lions and tigers do not pretend to be our friends. We know their plans :
2. Kill and eat anything that’s made of meat.
Horses are evil and hide in plain sight pretending to be our friends, our helpers and companions, but really they hate us and spend their days plotting our destruction.
“Crazy you must be.” I hear you mocking me in your best Yoda voice. Well set your faces to stun because here comes the facts … horse riding is the 7th most dangerous sport in the world but like organised-crime or domestic abuse, only 6% of victims of horse violence come forward.
Most of the worst injuries happen to people that are not even on a horse at the time .
They are bigger, stronger, faster than us – add that to the fact that they bite and kick and throw people to the ground …and if they don’t get you like that they try to get you financially by getting you addicted to gambling.
Oh and one of them nearly kicked me when I was about 12, in the New Forest and at 12 your new forest is anywhere you have just started growing hair from!
But now those fears are like funny anecdote that I tell my friends because now some misguided people put a cross in the wrong place, and the thing with putting crosses in the wrong place is, it could become habit forming… first it’s a ballot paper…. then it’s next to certain types of names (like Rodriguez or Muhammad ) then before you know it, it’s on fire on someone’s lawn. The wrong crosses rarely turn out for the best. At this point I would like to cite the 34 AD wrongful arrest case of Jesus vs the Romans.
I’m very worried that this new fear will not become funny any time soon…
So if you’re looking for some light relief from the tumultuous world we’re cowering in, head over to our Etsy shop and buy some cards to cheer your friends up.