Is that a question you ever ask yourself?
Fear not, we have the answers. Not all of them – that would be ridiculous! But we have a few…
So… the age old question of dinosaurs… what is JC’s stance on that then?
Standing in front with his arms outstretched, it would seem…
How well does JC know his way round a wine list?
Who needs a fucking wine list?! When you have a few buckets to hand and your dad is the New Testament’s answer to David Copperfield, you’re veritable sommelier!
Would JC have an iPhone?
Come on. You already know the answer to that one. Of COURSE he fucking would. Especially now Steve Jobs is up there arranging him an early upgrade!
What would JC like for his birthday?
Yeah no one wants a December birthday really. Piss poor planning on someone’s part that was!
If he had the chance to do it all again, what would JC do differently?
Everyone, but EVERYONE wants to be The Doctor. You know it.
And finally, it’s all well and good spreading peace and love to everyone, but what REALLY gets JC’s goat? Not his actual goat, now you’re just being silly. What really grinds his ecumenical gears?
Yep, it’s an imaginary bearded fella that swoops down once a year proclaiming peace on earth and joy to all men. In this case, where joy is represented by socks, ties, a giant Toblerone (less giant now, thanks Brexit you chocolate stealing bastard), a Top Gear DVD and some smelly shit that will get chucked before the first week of January is up.
You can check out our full range of #WhatWouldJCdo cards over at our Etsy store . Please don’t get your Christian knickers in an uproar, we are more than willing to mock all religions equally – we are equal opportunity pisstakers! You are welcome to your faith and your beliefs, I respect your right to have them, but I am going to point and laugh. That’s how I roll.