I wake up.
Look at the clock and say “fuck this!”
I wake up.
If I get up now and get showered & dressed I could be on my way to work by 8:00
I wake up.
Climb out of bed pull on some clothes …can’t find my socks…
Trouser leg gives birth to one of my socks as I exit my room and I abandon it like an aborted foetus on the landing.
First part of my commute is mainly uneventful… some delays between steps 5 and 6 due to a jack knifed laundry basket.
I stop off at the kitchen for a well-earned rest plus a tea, a coffee or paracetamol and water depending on the previous night, before finishing my morning commute.
Day-dreaming about getting out of this rat race and of a time when my genius is recognised, my work admired …and Tatty Teddy (the Me To You Bear) is unmasked as the sentimental, hideously disfigured grey bipolar bear piece of shit he is.
Continue my journey.
The journey is slowed by my own shuffling, but then comes to a complete standstill after a cat shed its load on the downward bound section just before the passage/office junction causing long delays and triggering a huge clean up.
Finding a place to park my big arse is relatively easy. I’m a creature of habit and I tend to pick the same spot most days.
My computer’s screen saver seems to be of an unshaven messy haired tramp in a ratty
T-shirt and paint stained jogging bottoms that I doubt have ever been jogged in … I realise I have yet to switch on my computer and am staring at my reflection. I’m lucky this is dress down Monday. )followed by dress down Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and just in my pants Friday.)
I switch on the computer, then wait for it to boot. I think it’s probably time to shower and have another hot beverage. As the boss, I will obviously send one of the scruffy dogsbodies to fetch …that would be me then …..
As #NaNoWriMo2016 continues, you can expect more updates from my working week as I scratch around looking for anything and everything to write about – do check out my previous posts and stay tuned for more of this nonsense throughout November and beyond.
If you want to buy any (or all!) of my cards and posters, you can do so right here. and if you would like to find out how this all began, you can read all about it here. (But please don’t try and enter the competition, that ended aaaaaaages ago. )